Crepe Capers

” The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

But some wise guy forgot to mention that a way to his stomach is through his oesophagus first. And his mouth before that. And that the best way to quench the cravings of the oesophagus is to go where your nose takes you – Inorbit.

A mere stone’s throw away from my *ahem* house, it is a haven for all people unemployed, temporarily or permanently. Well, that depends on how strong your throwing arm is, doesn’t it? Chuck Norris’ throw would probably take Inorbit out along with its foundations. And oh, Hypercity too, for good measure.

But as being Chuck Norris is left to the great man himself, we try to make our way more humbly towards the towering structure called Inorbit. Of course, the specifications for being able to go to Inorbit include having a pocket as deep as Lake Tanganyika. For all those who don’t know, Lake Tanganyika is a deep lake in Mongolia, where people are supposed to drown themselves if they don’t know where Inorbit is. So, as we approach Inorbit, the 1st part of our modus operandi is to check our wallets to see if we have enough dough about us.

Inorbit has very few places worth visiting, for people like us. There is absolutely nothing on the Ground Level, unless you count some hot chicks lying around on the seats. And oh yeah, in case you’re interested and you are one of the older generation, some grandmothers (single or otherwise) about. With their grandchildren. 😛

Then there is Planet World (for the physically healthy ones), Crossword (for the mentally healthy ones), Planet M (for the musically healthy ones), and some other shops (which I must add, are for the well-endowed ones 😛 ) on the First Level.

But there are some forces in Middle Earth, which are more powerful than most. (Sorry, I get lost in the LOTR world sometimes.) Some forces, which are far beyond the reckoning of the strongest man, the wisest elf, or the doughtiest dwarf. Which even Sauron the Great cannot overwhelm. And as we get to the Second Level, we realize that we need to fulfil our Inorbit Destiny. Our Final Quest.

Okay, histrionics apart, we realize that the Christians weren’t kidding about the Garden of Eden. At the pinnacle of the mall is a delightful place, full of Eves and poisonous apples, and snakes too. 😛 As a wondrous light wells up in our eyes, we bound forward on gleeful feet, trying to grab at any sort of delicious apples we could lay our teeth on. Of course, that would amount to shop-lifting (apple lifting anyone?). But it was just a figure of speech.

So, we head towards the cheapest, but by no means the worst, place on that level – Subway. A delightful sub-sandwich is in the works, and the thoughts. Being an expert on the topic of sub-sandwiches, I have extensive knowledge on the subject of these foot-long miracles of humanity. I order the best one there, a Chicken Teriyaki, to satiate my hunger pangs. Of course, best does not mean costliest either, but who cares?! The best part about the Second Level of Inorbit is that it is dedicated to That force on Middle Earth before which all are helpless. And I did not mean the poisonois gases out of a person’s backside.

There is Pizza Hut, Rajdhani, Barista, Birdy’s, Noodle Bar, Moti Mahal, China Joe, Santino’s, BreadTalk, Kailash Parbat and many more besides my all-time favourtite, Subway. Delicious huh? Always makes me want to rush to Inorbit. Or ask Chuck Norris to throw me there.

Maybe Inorbit should sign me up for their promotional campaigns. 😛 I do a good job, don’t I? Shoo now, let me enjoy the Teriyaki in peace.