Crepe Capers

” The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

But some wise guy forgot to mention that a way to his stomach is through his oesophagus first. And his mouth before that. And that the best way to quench the cravings of the oesophagus is to go where your nose takes you – Inorbit.

A mere stone’s throw away from my *ahem* house, it is a haven for all people unemployed, temporarily or permanently. Well, that depends on how strong your throwing arm is, doesn’t it? Chuck Norris’ throw would probably take Inorbit out along with its foundations. And oh, Hypercity too, for good measure.

But as being Chuck Norris is left to the great man himself, we try to make our way more humbly towards the towering structure called Inorbit. Of course, the specifications for being able to go to Inorbit include having a pocket as deep as Lake Tanganyika. For all those who don’t know, Lake Tanganyika is a deep lake in Mongolia, where people are supposed to drown themselves if they don’t know where Inorbit is. So, as we approach Inorbit, the 1st part of our modus operandi is to check our wallets to see if we have enough dough about us.

Inorbit has very few places worth visiting, for people like us. There is absolutely nothing on the Ground Level, unless you count some hot chicks lying around on the seats. And oh yeah, in case you’re interested and you are one of the older generation, some grandmothers (single or otherwise) about. With their grandchildren. 😛

Then there is Planet World (for the physically healthy ones), Crossword (for the mentally healthy ones), Planet M (for the musically healthy ones), and some other shops (which I must add, are for the well-endowed ones 😛 ) on the First Level.

But there are some forces in Middle Earth, which are more powerful than most. (Sorry, I get lost in the LOTR world sometimes.) Some forces, which are far beyond the reckoning of the strongest man, the wisest elf, or the doughtiest dwarf. Which even Sauron the Great cannot overwhelm. And as we get to the Second Level, we realize that we need to fulfil our Inorbit Destiny. Our Final Quest.

Okay, histrionics apart, we realize that the Christians weren’t kidding about the Garden of Eden. At the pinnacle of the mall is a delightful place, full of Eves and poisonous apples, and snakes too. 😛 As a wondrous light wells up in our eyes, we bound forward on gleeful feet, trying to grab at any sort of delicious apples we could lay our teeth on. Of course, that would amount to shop-lifting (apple lifting anyone?). But it was just a figure of speech.

So, we head towards the cheapest, but by no means the worst, place on that level – Subway. A delightful sub-sandwich is in the works, and the thoughts. Being an expert on the topic of sub-sandwiches, I have extensive knowledge on the subject of these foot-long miracles of humanity. I order the best one there, a Chicken Teriyaki, to satiate my hunger pangs. Of course, best does not mean costliest either, but who cares?! The best part about the Second Level of Inorbit is that it is dedicated to That force on Middle Earth before which all are helpless. And I did not mean the poisonois gases out of a person’s backside.

There is Pizza Hut, Rajdhani, Barista, Birdy’s, Noodle Bar, Moti Mahal, China Joe, Santino’s, BreadTalk, Kailash Parbat and many more besides my all-time favourtite, Subway. Delicious huh? Always makes me want to rush to Inorbit. Or ask Chuck Norris to throw me there.

Maybe Inorbit should sign me up for their promotional campaigns. 😛 I do a good job, don’t I? Shoo now, let me enjoy the Teriyaki in peace.

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

Formula 1, IndyCar Championships, car racing, motorcycle racing? They may be fun. All of us do enjoy it. Debating on whether Hamilton or Kimi will win. But don’t you think we pay too heavy a price for all this? Fun has a limit. It shouldn’t be too pricey or at the cost of others. Already we see whole countries affected by the volatile nature of a certain liquid. A very precious liquid nevertheless, the value of which has prompted people to call it Black Gold.

I’m not saying that all these motorsports have a huge bearing whatsoever on the petroleum scenario. But they do waste so much precious fuel that could have been used for so many varied purposes. The whole of our organized world revolves around this poisonous (if consumed, of course), yet utterly priceless liquid. Yet we go about wasting it. The whole political scene of India is dependent on petrol. Inflation keeps on rising, on account of a slight rise in the price of petrol. Companies like BPCL and HPCL are going bankrupt because our stupid Government can’t do a brave thing like increasing the cost of fuel. Of course, it would mean a premature end to their reign. But already, barrel prices of petrol are sky-rocketing and this subsidizing of price done by the UPA is leading to a slow death for the whole of the Indian economy.

Of course, we have senseless people like the Leftist parties who are opposed to this. Definitely, it is going to severely affect the poorer Indian populace. For this article, people might point out that most blog writers are from the upper middle class and can easily rely on their parents’ money. But the truth is a bitter pill to swallow, and this is going to affect people from all strata of the society (except the extremely rich people).

The advantage of bringing the cost of petrol at par with the international market would mean reduction in the wanton usage of cars and motorcycles. People will think twice before using their supposed “status” toys. It will also mean more strikes and the sort by people all over the country. But is making the country bankrupt any consolation for letting people waste such a precious resource?! Hopefully, the people at the top will realize the futility of subsidizing petrol prices and do something before our beloved country goes to the dogs.

I’m not saying that the US of A is a particularly brilliant country, but atleast they have a free economy and people do understand the facts surrounding this non-renewable (and slowly depleting) resource. The price of Black Gold there depends totally on the market prices, and that is how it should be. Car pooling and other such things should be encouraged.

But no, the noveau rich of our country want their status, their “ijjat”. Little do they realize what their “ijjat” is going to get them in the end. Rational thinking is required in a country where Ration shops are all this country can think of.