Hey There Delilah!

This is strictly a fictional conversation. Meeting in a train.

Shridhar :- Hey, hi there. Nice to see you. (Try to jog through all the names in my brain to identify who this is.)

Nice Person :- Oh hi Shridhar, how are you doing ? All fine, I hope?

Shridhar :- (Big Grin) I’m fine. How are You ? (Grimacing in thought though, can’t place this guy!)

Nice Person :- You seem a bit pre-occupied though ? Any problem ? You have grown very tall, and much thinner, too! (Forced smile by me at this, feigning ignorance as to any change in physical structure.)

Shridhar :- Hehe, yeah. Everyone keeps saying that. I wonder why…

(To my utter horror, I see a finger sneak into the dark and murky depths of the opening of the respiratory tract, and all the nightmares come rushing back. Ahh, this is XYZ! Now I remember)

XYZ :- So, what are you doing nowadays? (Nonchalantly, wipes his finger on his jeans and holds the hand-rail)

Shridhar :- (Remembering never to touch that hand-rail again) Ummm, uhhh, well, I just gave my CET in May, so trying for Engineering. By the way, have you ever watched Jhankaar Beats ? Just asking.

XYZ :- No man. But I’ve heard it is good. Isn’t it ?

Shridhar :- (Thinking of the Mundu scene) Oh yeah, definitely good. Very, ummm, dirty and brown.

XYZ :- Huh? (Dismissing that) Anyway, engineer haan? Bade aadmi banoge bhai! Hum toh Arts mein hi reh gaye.

Shridhar :- Well, I’m trying. Not necessary that I’ll pass 😛 Anyway, where are you getting down? (Eager to get away from Mr. Mundu, and still eyeing that hand suspiciously)

XYZ :- Arre, you will pass. You were always a scholar, even in school. (At this point, the tears roll out from my eyes in big fat droplets. So much faith! So much faith!)

Oh shit, forgot this wasn’t my favourite Hindi movie scenario. Nahiiiiiiiin !

*Okay, rewind to last line. Take 351. Action*

XYZ :- Arre, you will pass. You were always a scholar, even in school.

Shridhar :- (Trying to be humble, but vain as a peacock from within) Thank you, but let us see the results.

(By the way, just an idle thought. Why is it vain as a “peacock” anyway? I mean, I’d prefer NSS’s “As confused as a child in a brothel” anyday. But then, this is me we’re talking about, so forget the random thought :P)

XYZ :- Always the humble guy. Oh, and I’m getting down at Dadar. Thats next, I think. (Smiling at me, I dread what’s coming next. Arghh) Koi ladki-wadki pataaee kya ? Saala bahut change ho gaya hai tu.

Shridhar :- (I Just knew it!) Wadki ka pata nahi re. Aur ladki koi aati hi nahi achchi. 😛  Achche hote hain, bahut hi-fi hote hain, ya committed. 😛

XYZ :- Oh shit, Dadar aa gaya! Time ka pata hi nahi chala re! (Sure, what with the gold-digging :P) It was nice meeting you. (Offering a hand to shake) See you again some time.

Shridhar :- Namaste 😛 (Typical Jhankaar Beats ishtyle. And making the traditionalists proud)

XYZ :- (Surprised) Bye then! (And as he gets out of the train, I see the “Finger” touch a man square on his  open mouth. The poor, unfortunate guy. May his soul rest in peace)

AMEN…

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

All of us always wonder at how ineffectual our Government can be at planning and then successfully executing those plans. Yes, we wondered too. Wondered and cursed in equal measure. But then again, have you ever “wondered” how many plans you have successfully executed ? Plans which include many people and which requires thought and preparing in advance.

Contemplate this. And you will understand that the best planners never succeed all the time. Success is always based on your own efforts, but sometimes, it requires a bit of luck and a whole lot of co-operation by outside factors over which you have no control. I’d always thought getting people to go somewhere at the brink of the moment would be easy. But golly, I was as wrong as when I’d predicted that Derby County would stay in the Premiership.

Usually, the brilliant (though hardly successful) planner is usually Parampreet. And definitely, one of the whiners has to be me. 😛

But all credit to him for trying. Without him, life would be pretty boring. And I mean without the continuous hacking too.

Parampreet:- Arre, chal hum log kal Essel World jaate hain.

Shridhar:- Kabhi? Kitne baje? Kaise? KYON?

Neenad:- Arre haan, kal achcha din hain.

Siddhu:- I just read yesterday that Essel World is on the verge of being sold off. So ratings have dropped. I’m not coming. Times Of India had rated Essel World badly. (As you can note, Siddhu is one who sets store by ratings. Does this all the time before movies too)

Parampreet:- (Losing his cool) Arre chal na! Saala Times ne kya udhar ghar baandh ke rakha hai?

Shridhar:- I’m not coming re. Can’t miss my tennis. (Whining as usual)

Parampreet:- Tum log kameene hi ho.

Poor guy. Strives so hard to make plans work. But unfortunately, very lazy and can’t get up before 11.00 am in the morning. Hence the non-working of plans.

But the best planners I know of are my Dad, Prajakta and Mrunmayee. My Dad, because he does extensive research and is too stubborn. Prajakta and Mrunmayee, because they have to, as no one else does 😛 (see, i can atleast appreciate if I don’t pitch in) 😀

But as much as I claim to have learnt lessons, I still revert back to the government-cussing, whining, monosyllabalic boy that I am. And here ends my “plan” of writing a longer article. All because of an outside factor called Lunch. 😀 And I’m already licking my lips.

N or M ?

Okay, I am writing this article firmly keeping in mind the loud cries that will follow, which will ask for my head and ensure that I never write a blog again. Hey wait, I’m in the 21st Century now! Hurrah for the number 21! No more burning people at the stake!

As is typical of the summers only, there is something in the air besides the ultraviolet rays. No, it isn’t all the sweat, or the water vapour. Nor is it underwear hanging out on the window sills. And no, it is definitely not Paris Hilton sunbathing topless.

It is the unnatural scent of love in the air. People are so dependent on other people for their entertainment today, that it is leading to a gross rise in the number of so-called relationships. Most of these relationships are baseless and are just born out of frustration and boredom. I am not denying that people are really in love many-a-times, but most of them are as I said they are.

I am not claiming that I know a lot about love either, but I know a bit to get on with this blog. With an increasing trend of young people having those wireless demons with them, there is more freedom to chat with friends and the more-than-just-friends type. Hasty decision-making, immaturity, and also a lot of extreme stupidity characterize the current Generation X.

Most of these relationships are just an attempt to be cool. Example,

Cool Dude:- Hey man, my girlfriend just called me. We are gonna have sex tonight. Do you know how to unhook a bra ?

Nerdy Dude:- Me ? But I don’t know any girl, leave alone getting them out of their undergarments. * Contemplating a bit* Hey can you hook me up with any of your friends ? My weener just discovered new tricks the day before.

As I explained in the most accepted way of talking nowadays, it might sound pretty crude, but it is pretty much what the newest Generation talks about. A lot of this is attributed to the rise in technology, and a huge increase in the number of PCs today. And I did not mean Priyanka Chopras. A decline in the number of people reading good ole books is also a factor. A book can keep the mind absorbed much better than anything I know. It also helps you think, know life from the perspective of the authors, and the many conundrums in life. Even a simple fictional novel helps.

By now, you must have got the gist of the topic, and are well aware of the fact that I carry a permanent grudge against the society. The very society I live in, sometimes disgusts me to the point of irritation. People need to realize the real meaning of love, as I think I have, and not be too stereotypical or commercial about it. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I sure know one thing. This Generation is as deluded as a Liverpool FC fan is about his/her team.

Barring the last comment, I think people will spare me for my incessantly critical style of writing. And as for the last comment, people will wonder…

Arre but how ?

Shridhar :- Chaho toh sab kuch hai aasaan 😛