Too Many Humans

We all know SPCE. I should rephrase this sentence to say, we all “think” we know SPCE. The fundamental thing to know about SPCE is that SPIT is connected to its original college physically as well as emotionally, akin to a mother’s bond with its child, the umbilical cord. Don’t get me wrong here. I am not being sappy, just getting my similes right. For SPCE Is as old as a mother to SPIT, infrastructure-ally as well as otherwise.

But the point I’m trying to make here is not about the bond between CE and IT. The point is about the knowledge you have about our humble college. Many students have tried and failed at an attempt to fathom the mystery behind the many secret rooms in SPCE. A rambling old building tends to have many rooms, and SP is no different. It’s divided into two wings, and each has a share of its secrets.

Many say a grand old treasure is hidden in the depths of the college, but brigands and pirates have not managed to get a whiff of it as yet. Enterprising detectives have tried their hand at peering into every classroom, and even initiated contests at the college festival, but have been unable to elicit a squeak from the guardians of the priceless and nameless entity.

Recently, there have been rumours going around about a monster residing somewhere in SP, and children fear to roam about in the college after dark. The monster is said to consume many pints of beer, remnants of which are rumoured to have been found on the SP terrace. In these days of doubt, the SP management locks up most of the college, in a bid to stay the monster and abate some of its anger.

Here are some of the rooms that have a certain mysterious air about them, and are in definite need of investigation:

1. Toilet on the 2nd Floor, close to the FE IT class

Located on the highest floor SP can offer, this is more popular amongst the IT people. Being a very mysterious and introverted lot themselves, they hardly let anyone know about this toilet. The toilet is as much a part of SPIT as it is of SPCE. Hardly anyone in SPCE knows of this place. It is remarkably small, has no mirror, and is virtually non-existent, referring to its size. It would hardly be called as an “ideal” toilet. As a TE remarked wisely, you wouldn’t know about it even after 3 years in the college.

2. The Gymkhana

Invisible to the naked eye, except to people who are in definite need of some shrink, this place has been widely documented and well ridiculed by some of my seniors. It is a deliberate insult to a gym, and a big insult to any sport. It is located at the end of a small, yet arterial road, just off the road leading to the workshop. The Gymkhana is well-stocked with all the necessary equipment required to ensure the health and well-being of the SP crowd. However, you need to pick a perfect time to enjoy its services, because it is highly popular with the aam junta, to whom this place is better known than their own classes.

3. Some classroom on the 2nd, which has no desks at all

This is one place you will never notice at all. It is almost always closed. Sometimes, it is inhabited by the lonelier kinds of the human race, merely to have somewhere to vent their frustrations. The room appears to have no use at all, except during some times when some teacher seems to be sitting in a chair with all her students around her. I have never been able to solve the mystery behind this behaviour. Will try to learn more about the goings-on of this room. Keep your eye out for it.

4. The dumping area on ground level

It is a highly claustrophobic area, with not much room for manoeuvring. Is a dumping ground for strange things. Strange sounds have been heard from its nooks and crannies when we have entered for retrieving our football. We’ve discovered every piece of furniture to have existed at SP at any point in its life, to be enjoying a nice rest there. Not many people know about this place, but you will find it when you miskick your football, to enter a realm of decadence and ageing.

5. The Wind Tower Room

I never really bothered to read the name for this room. It is a room you will see everyday, yet manage to ignore. It is well camouflaged. The only thing you will notice about it is all the water lying about the place. As a certain friend cleverly noted, it might be a medieval torture room of sorts, where the tortured souls are forced to urinate on themselves. Of course, the “clever” is in doubt. The room itself is a paradox, with no possibility of wind, due to lack of windows.

P.S: For the link to a brilliant video, this is where you can find it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfUS6mONpZ8

Me And Bobby McGee

What with the recent spate of violent going-ons around the country, I hope I survive a similar fate with which I might be cursed in case any of the people I mention in this article read my blog. Assuming it is safe from such a perusal, I will venture into territories undiscovered, experiences inexperienced, entities unknown and so on and so forth in my usually boring vein. 😛

Okay, college season has started and everyone has had their share of tales about how their professors are. I will endeavour to make you “experience” my experiences with my professors at SPCE.

Now, we have 6 subjects and their respective practicals in our syllabus. Here goes.

Maths

Professor – Codename Barot. Has a persecution complex. Always assumes conspiracies against him. Loves to tell people that they have copied assignments. Loves to target my classmate Nikhil. Enjoys sitting on the first bench and making people slog on the board. Takes sadistic pleasure in making us ask those students horribly naive doubts. 

Physics

Teacher – Codename Edje. Has an asinine grin. Smirks at almost everything. Loves avoiding questions she cannot answer. Pronounces “Edge” as “Edje”. Cannot be seen in front of a darker background. Loves making us do stupid physics problems. Is not answerable to anything we do because she is an ME student. Loves embossing her name on every printed assignment sheet we get.

Chemistry

Teacher – Codename Dullathon. Cannot teach. Yet is supposed to be addressed as “teacher”. Is assumed to wash her *** with hard water.  Dicatates straight from the textbook and expects us to copy. Cannot speak English. Will always misplace the attendance sheet. 

EM (Engineering Mechanics)

Professor – Codename Once-In-A-Blue Moon. Loves acting feminine. Adjusts his calendar according to the lunar cycle, because of which he only arrives in college once a month. Takes 2 1/2 hours to travel where it takes normal human beings just 1 1/2 hour. Writes so painstakingly small that micro-organisms would have to read it.

CP (Computer Programming)

Professor – Codename C–. Thinks he is the CEO of the college. Cannot spell for nuts. Always seems to write in C++. Has created one of the most horrible spellings for “palindrome” ever. Believed to write his love letters in C++.

#include<iostream.h>

for(i=1; i<= ∞; ++i)

cout<<“I Love You”;

Okay, I’m an amateur at programming, so spare me the tech lingo.

BEE (Basic Electronics and Electrical Engineering)

(I know! They have had the audacity to make one “E” disappear and making it sound like the insect which usually haunts our class)

Professor1 – Codename Viagra. Looks like Einstein. Walks slower than a snail suffering from a heart ailment. Ah, snails don’t have hearts 😛 Inanely dumb, exceedingly deaf and surprisingly nonchalant as to the predicament of the class.

Professor2 – Codename Dumbass. Cannot integrate to save his life. Supposed to be an MTech guy from IIT. Does it mean Indian Integrated Toots?

Have written this at something-past-12 in the night. Will appreciate discovery of typo-errors and grammatical errors in the post. Hope it is interesting atleast.

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The picture tells all!
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