God Put A Smile On Your Face

Before I start writing this blog, I want people to know (especially Siddhu), that this post should not be commented on unless you want to say something seriously. This post, like all others, hasn’t been written for anyone else’s satisfaction. It has been written just to vent my feelings in a readable format. So please avoid the snide remarks and comments and leave it for some other post. So let me begin …

At some point of time during my 12th standard, I wondered if my nightmare would ever end. Of course, nothing is ever worth committing suicide, so I am sane enough not to do or even contemplate such a stupid thing. But it was probably the saddest few months of my life and I just couldn’t pull myself back together and get on with life.

But then, things began to turn around for me. A certain someone came into my life. She was the sort of girl who’d not mind anything you said but give back a good dose of sarcastic comments as replies. I can’t say that it was love at first sight or anything, because the 1st time I met her, I hardly got to see her, let alone know her. But then, I got to know her more and more.

I hadn’t ever met a girl like her before. She was sarcastic, witty, knowledgeable, and didn’t mind me teasing her at all. So, we ended up bonding quite a lot on Yahoo Messenger. And as they say, they rest is history.

We do a lot of things our parents wouldn’t approve of, message quite a lot, and just waiting for her 12th to be done with. I wish I could see her more, talk to her more than I do, dream about her more than I do as of now. But then, if wishes were horses…

I feel so helpless, just waiting for those wonderful messages of hers. I want to be there for her when she’s sad, help her feel better when she’s down, but all I can do is bloody message. I just wished she lived closer to Goregaon.

Damn, I just can’t write romantic posts. Or maybe, this wasn’t my day. But I feel a lot more than these few words. Sometime, someday, I will write a better post. I guess I was too busy messaging her and kept forgetting about this post. Who knows? Not everyone is a toned-down-Mills and Boone.

The Show Must Go On…

Isn’t it the same story every monsoon ? The Government/BMC promises pothole-free roads and work hard for this. But the poor dears can only provide one thing for free. And that is a nice sludge-filled road. Delightful, isn’t it ? Spend so much to give us the thing we could’ve got for free anyway. Promise to reduce the levels of water clogging our busy roads. But they only fill up faster the next year. I criticize the BMC, but I realize that playing the blame game won’t do anyone any good. To quote Juhi Chawla from Jhankaar beats, “Taali ek haath se nahi bajti.”

So which is the other hand in the taali? Who is the other culprit? Look no further. The person sitting on your chair right now, reading this blog and then wondering who I’m pointing fingers at. Yes, you!

Maybe I can’t blame us all for the pothole problem. The only thing we can do is fill each pothole with a politician. Atleast it’ll be a snug fit. But we can definitely hold ourselves responsible for the flooding of the city. People have had a basic problem differentiating between certain objects for a long time now. Garbage is thrown into the gutters, and dustbins are left empty to collect water. Catchment area anyone?

I’d recommend standing on the intersection of a busy road for a few minutes during the peak hours. Then you’d see the gravity of the situation that the BMC have on their hands. Our littering habits are legendary, the BMC are, but, mortals. Can the immortal ever be beaten by the mortal? People throw garbage onto the road, left, right and centre. They spit, they shit, they do everything sane people shouldn’t do. Sanity is more of a doubt in this country than an assurance. Whatever they eat, wipe their asses or noses with, whatever they use, lands up on the roads of their supposedly “beloved” Motherland. Is it not beloved then? Do you throw rubbish on the name of the country you’ve been brought up in? Does being a citizen not justify your duty to uphold the name of Mumbai?

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? IS LITTERING A PLEASURE OR A NECESSITY? All I can say is that people who litter are stupid assholes and that they’d do better to keep their mouths shut than play the blame game.

Heart-In-Mouth-Syndrome

In case you wonder what this post is all about, you are definitely going to read further. And its a thing which happens to everyone. So its not a person-specific experience. And it happens when almost all children expect it to happen. It is the heart-in-mouth syndrome, abbreviated HIM syndrome.

This disease or curse or affliction is not to be confused with the foot-in-mouth syndrome. Though sharing the title of our body’s oral point of entry, these two diseases are completely different in symptoms as well as resultant affectations.

The FIM syndrome is usually person-specific and happens to the same person repeatedly. FIM syndrome-afflicted persons have an uncanny habit of saying the wrong things at the wrong time. Everyone knows an FIM-afflicted person. I mean everyone 😛

Now we come to HIM syndrome. Can you guess when it happens ? It happens when you feel as if your roller-coaster is going to be derailed, you’ve got a werewolf following you or when your exam results are out. When exam results are out… 😛

In this age of science and technology, everything is available at a click of a button. Well, the clicking part of a mouse can’t be called a button, but oh, what the hell…

So, where were we ?

Oh yeah, when exam results are out. All our results are now a click away. Sounds like an advertisement eh ? Well, its true. One click, and Satan’s hand slaps you hard on your cheeks. Very hard indeed. 😛

This is the actual Heart-In-Mouth syndrome.

Waiting for your results.

You type in the site’s URL.

You wait for your browser to process the results.

While you wait, Dad glares at you.

Mom glares at you.

Sis glares at you.

But it isn’t my fault!

Curse Mozilla!

Sweat pours out as if its been sold at nominal prices.

Screw these screwy similes.

What are the results ?

Again, Dad glares.

Finally, the page appears.

Lot of traffic, I explain.

Type in my roll number.

Sweat keeps trickling out.

Enough to fill the Utah Valley.

The page slowly processes.

This is when my heart has reached my mouth and is dying to get out and splatter the PC monitor 😛

Doesn’t everyone experience this ? 😛

Fear Of The Dark

I always was afraid of the dark. Just can’t stay alone at my place. Not surprising considering my “place” is a pretty huge mansion in the middle of nowehere. The only way to go is a creepy road through a supposedly “haunted” forest. The word “supposedly” chills me to the bone even till this day …

It was the night my best friend had a party at his house. I was apprehensive about going there as the party was at night and was to go on till after midnight, when a special cake would be cut. And considering I had no form of transportation back home, and had to walk the way back.

As soon as the party was over, I wished I had asked my friend if I could stay overnight at his house. The moment I stepped out onto the porch with a few other friends, I could sense something was wrong.

The cold night air bit into my face. There was a strange smell in the air. I could just catch it, but couldn’t place it. Strange, isn’t it ? Things like that don’t seem important at that moment, but you realize later that they can be life-threatening. Seriously…

My friends stay scattered all over town. A few left in the opposite direction. A few hurried Bye’s and Good Night’s later, Bryan and me were walking down a pretty dimly lit street. Have you ever got that feeling that someone’s watching you ? Well, both of us had that feeling and exchanged dark looks. A quick look-around revealed nothing, but the feeling stayed with us nevertheless. Soon, I started getting goosebumps. Something was wrong. Definitely wrong …

A rustling sound.

By now, Bryan and I were shit-scared.

More rustling.

I grabbed Bryan’s arm and pointed at some bushes nearby. Suddenly, a dog ran out! Nervous laughter replaced our petrified looks. Nervous, yet not truly convinced.

That dog had looked terrified by something. What scares dogs ? Surely not anything ordinary. Severe apprehension took the place of nervousness now.

The only thing I wanted to do was run home with my eyes shut. My heart was beating as if it wanted to get out of my emaciated chest. Bryan’s house is at the beginning of the forest path. We were nearing the start of the forest path.

And then it happened…

Something huge and brown jumped out from an outgrowth in the rock. It grabbed Bryan by the scruff of his neck and ran to the forest on the other side of the road. Terrified as I was, I ran after the hairy creature. The forest is super-scary at night, as I discovered. I ran deeper and deeper into the forest. And then I saw pieces of flesh.

Fresh flesh. Flesh ripped out from a human body. Bryan’s flesh…

I was in a cul-de-sac now. And realized it too late. I turned around and saw a glint in the eyes of the beast. And then I looked skywards. It was a full moon…

As the were-wolf ran towards me with a hungry look in its eyes, and saliva dripping from its fangs, I stood there hopelessly.

And as the were-wolf sank its fangs into my neck, it struck me. The scent I’d smelled before…

It was the scent of BLOOD …